No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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