I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
