You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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