I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We got so high we made milksteak
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
