the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
