you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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