When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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