Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
What a dumb baby whore.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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