i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
And then my night got REAL pukey
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
