omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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