What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
