Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
