So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
