I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
