go do what you do best...puke behind churches
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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