Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
