I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
apparently the secret to your success is patron
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
