...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
