There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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