Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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