We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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