Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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