Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
