your thong is hanging out like whoa
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
