I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
