Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Randomize
