so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
