wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
