singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
