If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
