You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
