How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
sarcasm needs its own font
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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