I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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