My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
