You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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