No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
