take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
im holly from the hills drunk
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
