dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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