If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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