you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
