Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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