She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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