32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
