Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
