Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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