I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I love you. Go after that dick
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
