My friends, they love my intelligence
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
