I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
