I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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