C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
