She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
