I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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