I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
